Energy

I sort of feel like I want to do all these great things, but time just goes way too fast.

It feels like I am in a world where everything is fastforwarded, and if I even blink I might miss something grand. I want an opportunity to do what I love for life. I want to live a fulfilling life. But the road to it isn't always easy.

I study mediascience at a university in Denmark at the moment. It is a decent study, no doubt, but I don't like it. I don't find it interesting or special. I love playing games and making videos, so you'd think the video part would be interesting. But it isn't. Creating original material has always been an interest of mine, and getting the tech for it has been a constant barrier. Lately I feel as if I've got the resources for it. But one vital component is missing. The energy.

As part of my personality and my wide array of hobbies and passions, I find myself in a constant lack of sleep, which really diminishes the pleasure of doing things. It doesn't just affect me, but those around me as well. Time just goes so very fast, and I just don't have enough hours a day.

I really love playing games and inventing concepts regarding games. It is my number one passion next to my girlfriend whom I love more than anything in the world. But what if all the time I spend awake stressing about making it through each day without missing too much is actually having a negative impact? What if being more laid back would fix this?


What if that was even an option?


Some days I manage to make myself go to sleep early and get a ton of it, but when I wake up I feel even more tired than if I didn't get enough sleep. The energy I gain from the lack of sleep is far greater than the energy I gain from getting enough sleep. Time. Time spent sleeping is time lost in the real world. But the real world isn't as exciting do delve into as fictional worlds.

I really want to use my knowledge for something in my main area of interest, namely Game Design. Studying for it seems just as much a bore as any other study. It consumes my energy. The energy is taken and lost, creating a void inside me. I want to fill that void with more experiences.

I want to play games. I want to show the world how fun games can be, and how interesting they are. I want to create my own games and combine the experiences I've had so far into something truly special. Something that does not take, steal, rob or consume energy. Something that gives you the energy to make it through your day. Something that rejuvenates you when you play it. Something that makes you always have something to look forward to at the end of the tough week at work. Something endless, eternal, timeless.

Something truly unique.

To do this, I need energy. The energy I feel like I lack, just as I feel like I lack several other things. These "things" represent qualities, material objects, goals in life. In time, I will get them. Time goes as it always has, without ever looking back. I want time to slow down. I want opportunities. I want a plentiful and satisfactory life. I want unique experiences.


I want energy.



Love, Blizzia.